Saved By A DJ




Hey, Hi, Hello, my name is Heather, and I am going to tell you my story of how I have arrived here. It is the story of how I became who I am today, and I’ll share with  you the journey I've embarked on...



I am a recovering alcoholic and drug addict now living a clean and sober life. I am also an active professional DJ, a music producer, and I am still a party kid (Raver). That is who I am, and what I am. I have a story like some of you, and maybe like none of you, so all I can do is share a bit of myself and hope you might take something from it. I don't like to get into great detail because no matter how hard or soft it was I don't hold pity on myself, nor do I want any pity from anyone. That being said, my story goes something like this:



I come from a family of alcoholics/addicts, and a history of abuse and trauma. I was raised by my grandparents as my mother died from an overdose when I was 8 years old, and my father was unable to be a father. I had lots of brothers and sister so we lived with the bare minimum and made due with what we had. When you don't have much, you find ways to get the things you want, and in my world I turned to criminal activities and not so good people. I was what some would call (myself included), a “lost soul”. I never had a lot of friends, and the friends I had were just like me, "troubled youth" as they say.



So here it is, I started using alcohol and street drugs at age 11, and that was my escape from myself and my reality… it also helped me ignore and bury my harboured anger from my not so good child hood. All these times I never felt like I fit in, and I was socially awkward. As times at home got worse, so did I, and so did my behavior. Age 16 is when I really decided I didn't give a fuck. I was gonna just do ME and do what I wanted, not caring about anything or anyone! I turned cold outside and in, and felt so alone and so lost, I thought I would never fit in anywhere.



While things were bad, through everything, from a young age, through dark days, I had one saving grace…MUSIC. It was (and still is) the answer to everything; every emotion I ever had I could relate to it, or hide from it, through sound.



At age 16 I was introduced to a world that would save me, then corrupt and destroy me,  and than save me again: The "RAVE" scene.



I will never forget my first party. I walked in and looked around and I knew that I had “arrived” - by this I mean I found I was in a place full of people just like me. I had found the "lost" and the “misfits" - a truer statement would be people who just walk to a different beat, unique people, spiritual people, people who are not what society thinks we should be. In that moment after what I saw and experienced, I then wanted to become a DJ. I wanted to spin records, and I said one day I would.



So over the years I went to a lot of parties and I met a lot of cool people, I danced and I just got lost in the “dark side” I call it. No one judged me or placed expectations on me, I could just be free for that short period of time.  It was just me and music.  But as you know I got caught up in other things, drugs and drinking, not because of the scene but because I am an addict, and that’s what addicts do. I had a lot of shit inside, I was suffering, and I was not ready to deal with it at that age, and at that time. So I spent a lot of years struggling with drugs and drinking. I was getting worse and worse. I hated myself and I could hardly look in the mirror. I was emotionally shut off, except for anger. I was always getting into physical fights, and trouble with people of stature. The only thing I could count on were the DJ's and the dance floor. It was honestly the only thing that could make me feel some what normal.



I eventually suffered a drug overdose and heart problems. I almost died, I got lucky. I lived to tell the tale, but that still didn't slow me down. However something did shift, sadly for the worse, I quit going to raves and parties, and quit mostly everything I loved and just dove full blown into my addictions. This was my life for a number of years. Then one day by a miracle I can’t explain, I decided that enough was enough! I didn't like who I was or what I was becoming. I was hurting people and I wanted to be somebody and break the cycle that was in my blood line. So I decided it was time to quit. I had a friend who I ran into, not by chance more by miracle, who was in a 12 step fellowship, and asked me if I wanted to try it. I did. I went, and it saved my life. Saved my life in the physical sense, but something was yet missing. I was still not whole. I was missing my culture, the dance scene, and I was missing my fellow party kids, the dance floor, the DJ's - the PEACE<LOVE<UNITY



No small or easy task, my first attempt failed. Drugs and Alcohol took over again, and once more I left the party scene to try again.






One day a year into my second kick at the can, I was watching an interview with "50 cent" (yes I like him). He was telling his story, and he said something that hit me right between the eyes! He said "ambition can't be taught, ambition is something you’re born with". I cried, and went and got those words tattooed on my shoulder. Then I sold all my toys to buy DJ gear. My realization you see, was that not only did I get sober for me and my family, but I got sober to follow my dream of music and becoming a DJ of dance music in the rave scene. So I bought 2 turntables, a few records, a mixer, and I went on a mission! Everyone laughed at me and snickered at me. I didn't care. Something I hadn't felt in a while was burning inside me - the desire to achieve something for myself. The desire to set myself free!



I never thought I would make it out of my bedroom honestly, but it’s something I had to do. No one believed in me or wanted to help me. So it was just me, and music, and faith. Down the road eventually I met a few who reached out, and I'm grateful for that. My path as a DJ continued, and there is a bunch of stuff that can go in here, but that is my journey, and that as they say, is another story.



So where am I today?  Well I am the DJ known as Just Heather, and I now spin tunes all over Canada. I am an avid party goer, I am a mother, a wife, and I am sober. What I want to say, is that you can live in this world clean and sober. You can triumph from whatever horrors you faced in your life, and that you can chase your dreams no matter what they are. Truly the skies the limit!  If you struggle with addictions of any kind or just live differently, or feel anything that sets you apart, you can surpass it.






The music scene is my world. It’s not a bad world. I am so happy to be who I am and to see life through a different lens. My life is a dance floor, my people are beats & freaks, and I do what I do completely sober. So can you!



I don't know if this gets across in any way. I don't know if it goes anywhere. I am not an advocate for 12 step programs, but they did help me. I am just a recovering addict and alcoholic who wants to share my experience, my strength and my hope with you. I want to show any and all that it’s ok to be who you are and live free.



Please if you want to discuss further, or if I can help you help yourself, shoot me an email. Let’s start a movement of healthy living through music and dance!






1 LOVE 1 UNITY = happiness in life